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When I Don’t Feel Like Being a Proverbs 31 Woman

Last Updated on October 28, 2021 by

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There is a frame that sits on my desk. It has Proverbs 31 displayed in it. It was a gift from my husband several birthdays ago and is probably one of my favorite gifts to date. It reminds me each day as I sit at my desk working or writing, just Who and what I am working for. Most days, this is an encouragement to me. It reminds me that my husband considers me an ‘excellent wife’.

Some days though, it feels like a dark cloud looming over my head. Some days I DON’T feel like being a Proverbs 31 woman.

Ok, you can pick yourself up out of the floor now. I love the Lord with all that I am. I love my husband and son with all of my heart. Some days, I just don’t feel like being a Proverbs 31 woman.

Some days, I’m grouchy or snippy.

Some days, I don’t ‘rise while it is yet night’…some days, I sleep while the baby sleeps.

Some days I don’t feel like being kind to my husband, maybe because he was short with me or maybe for no reason at all.

Some days I don’t feel like opening my hands to the poor…instead I would rather take that money and go get a pedicure.

Some days I say dumb things. When I open my mouth, the last thing that comes out is wisdom.

Some days I suggest we go out to dinner because I just don’t feel like cooking.

You get the point….some days, I just don’t feel like being a Proverbs 31 woman!

Don’t we all though? I think we would be lying to say that we didn’t all feel this way from time to time. There was only one perfect One to ever walk this planet, and it sure wasn’t me!

Proverbs 31 is one of the most famously quoted pieces of Scripture pertaining to women. I think as wives and moms, we can be really hard on ourselves. Proverbs 31 is a very high standard to live up to, but it is one that I strive to model my character and life after. The good news is, there is more to the story than just this piece of Scripture. There is grace…and a whole lot of it.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

His power is made PERFECT in weakness. Perfect is a word that I would never use to describe myself, but to think that His power is made PERFECT in our weakness? Amazing. When I fail at being a Proverbs 31 woman, His grace is sufficient for me. This verse even goes a step further…we are told to BOAST in our weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon us. I’m not one to brag or boast, but to boast in the fact that sometimes I just don’t feel like being a Proverbs 31 woman, because I am weak…wow.

   Proverbs 31:10-31
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

So today, friend, I hope that you chose to boast in your weaknesses. Not wallow, not continue in sin, but give your weakness to Him.

Understand that sleeping when the baby sleeps is ok, because momma…you put that baby to sleep. Understand that He can give us strength to be kind, even when we don’t feel like it, or the other party doesn’t deserve it.

Understand that because you say dumb things or chose unkind words, that you are so loved, by Someone who died for you. We can ask for forgiveness.

Understand that even though you didn’t cook dinner, your family is taken care of. Maybe you caught up on laundry, maybe you spent the day holding a sick child, maybe you worked 60 hours that week.

Understand that His grace IS sufficient. While we should try to model our character after His Word, some days we will fail. We don’t stay there though, we persevere and cling tightly to that grace.


Melissa Bernardo

Monday 9th of May 2016

I try my hardest every day to be the best woman I could possibly be. Love this post!

Healing Tomato

Sunday 8th of May 2016

It is more important to be honest with yourself than to be a Proverbs 31 Woman. This is a great post


Friday 6th of May 2016

I love your honesty and thank you for the reminder that it is perfectly OK to boast in our weaknesses. I think if us Christ-followers did this more often, our churches would feel like a more welcoming place. I have plenty of weaknesses and struggles as well, and am certainly on this journey myself. Thanks for a post that also reminds me that I am not alone in this :)

Tiffany Hathorn

Thursday 5th of May 2016

Being a Proverbs 31 woman has never seemed like something that was easily achievable. I just try to do my best each day to be good to the people in my life.

jared's mum

Thursday 5th of May 2016

It might be difficult to be that woman day-in-day-out but it is good that we can always rely on God to sustain us and get us through whatever we are experiencing at any given time.