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When I Don’t Feel Like Being a Proverbs 31 Woman

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Last Updated on January 22, 2024 by Allison Lancaster

There is a frame that sits on my desk. It has Proverbs 31 displayed in it. It was a gift from my husband several birthdays ago and is probably one of my favorite gifts to date. It reminds me each day as I sit at my desk working or writing, just Who and what I am working for. Most days, this is an encouragement to me. It reminds me that my husband considers me an ‘excellent wife’.

Some days though, it feels like a dark cloud looming over my head. Some days I DON’T feel like being a Proverbs 31 woman.

Ok, you can pick yourself up out of the floor now. I love the Lord with all that I am. I love my husband and son with all of my heart. Some days, I just don’t feel like being a Proverbs 31 woman.

Some days, I’m grouchy or snippy.

Some days, I don’t ‘rise while it is yet night’…some days, I sleep while the baby sleeps.

Some days I don’t feel like being kind to my husband, maybe because he was short with me or maybe for no reason at all.

Some days I don’t feel like opening my hands to the poor…instead I would rather take that money and go get a pedicure.

Some days I say dumb things. When I open my mouth, the last thing that comes out is wisdom.

Some days I suggest we go out to dinner because I just don’t feel like cooking.

You get the point….some days, I just don’t feel like being a Proverbs 31 woman!

Don’t we all though? I think we would be lying to say that we didn’t all feel this way from time to time. There was only one perfect One to ever walk this planet, and it sure wasn’t me!

Proverbs 31 is one of the most famously quoted pieces of Scripture pertaining to women. I think as wives and moms, we can be really hard on ourselves. Proverbs 31 is a very high standard to live up to, but it is one that I strive to model my character and life after. The good news is, there is more to the story than just this piece of Scripture. There is grace…and a whole lot of it.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

His power is made PERFECT in weakness. Perfect is a word that I would never use to describe myself, but to think that His power is made PERFECT in our weakness? Amazing. When I fail at being a Proverbs 31 woman, His grace is sufficient for me. This verse even goes a step further…we are told to BOAST in our weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon us. I’m not one to brag or boast, but to boast in the fact that sometimes I just don’t feel like being a Proverbs 31 woman, because I am weak…wow.

   Proverbs 31:10-31
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

So today, friend, I hope that you chose to boast in your weaknesses. Not wallow, not continue in sin, but give your weakness to Him.

Understand that sleeping when the baby sleeps is ok, because momma…you put that baby to sleep. Understand that He can give us strength to be kind, even when we don’t feel like it, or the other party doesn’t deserve it.

Understand that because you say dumb things or chose unkind words, that you are so loved, by Someone who died for you. We can ask for forgiveness.

Understand that even though you didn’t cook dinner, your family is taken care of. Maybe you caught up on laundry, maybe you spent the day holding a sick child, maybe you worked 60 hours that week.

Understand that His grace IS sufficient. While we should try to model our character after His Word, some days we will fail. We don’t stay there though, we persevere and cling tightly to that grace.


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  1. I’m sure its hard to be a Proverbs 31 woman at all times. I admire you for trying but I think its okay to miss from time to time. You are a person.

  2. I love this so much! This really speaks to me. Most days I want to do what pleases God and my husband, but other days…..ooooh…those are the days when I want to go to Mexico and tattoo every part of my body just because I can! HAHA! This is a constant struggle. Most days I win πŸ™‚ I haven’t been to Mexico yet LOL

  3. Most days I do not want to be a proverbs 31 wife. I need to work on this way more.

  4. It can sometimes be so hard to be anything, I know days when I want to just hibernate so trying to live up to such a proverb is hard.

  5. Elizabeth O. says:

    I don’t think we can all be that Proverbs 31 woman everyday, we will always have those days wherein we would rather just drop everything and not try to be perfect. I will always love the message this entails, it’s really motivating and encouraging. Thanks for the good read.

  6. I don’t really know what this post means per say since I don’t what a proverbs 31 woman is, but I hope you’re doing better! xx adaatude.com

  7. As long as our husbands accept us for all of our faults and glories, I would consider them (and us!) very lucky!

  8. This was very uplifting to read! As a tired and worn out mama, I don’t feel so excellent. πŸ™ Most of the time, I just feel like surviving! Thankfully, when I feel this inadequate, I know that God completes me and sees the work that I’m doing. The quality of our work isn’t necessarily a reflection of our heart.

  9. We all have those blah days where we don’t want to be or do anything. Just got to get past it and try better the next day.

  10. ron Leyba says:

    Wow. this is kinda thought provoking at my point of view. Thanks for sharing your own thoughts about this.

  11. Being that wife is a challenge. All we can do is strive to be the best version of that wife. But it is always a great reminder. I too should have it framed on my desk :-).

  12. as long as we’re doing it with God’s anointing….

  13. Nice read! Well, we all have those days. However, in the end, we all dwell on things that truly make us happy.

  14. Its always difficult to stay on one track! Life often spins us around like a yo yo, The important thing is to stay true to our feelings and not everyone elses.

  15. We all have those days, or even just a moment in the middle of the day, in which we wonder how to be all those things at all times. I have to accept I can’t be them all, all the time. Just stay in prayer and grow closer God and those moments start to become less frequent! Chocolate helps too. πŸ˜‰

  16. Today was a hard day for me. I thought I was really trying on the Proverbs 31 woman and then I sinned and I just feel as if to throw in the towel.
    Anyway, I’m glad you got featured. This is good.

  17. It is ok to dont to be a proverb 31 woman. You just keep trying and trying! sounds easy but I know how difficult it could be

  18. Michelle Blackwood says:

    As women, we are entitled to have blah blah days. Our roles are multifaceted so sometimes we need a break from being all to everyone. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

  19. I think we have to keep in mind we have a God who uniquely understands our humanity. Of course we can’t live up to the perfect Proverbs 31 standard everyday, but we can in each moment live up to what God wants us to be when we seek Him in all things, we’ll know what the best answer is for each moment, even if it’s a nap and ordering pizza.

  20. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t have days like that. God knows this as he created us!

  21. It might be difficult to be that woman day-in-day-out but it is good that we can always rely on God to sustain us and get us through whatever we are experiencing at any given time.

  22. Being a Proverbs 31 woman has never seemed like something that was easily achievable. I just try to do my best each day to be good to the people in my life.

  23. I love your honesty and thank you for the reminder that it is perfectly OK to boast in our weaknesses. I think if us Christ-followers did this more often, our churches would feel like a more welcoming place. I have plenty of weaknesses and struggles as well, and am certainly on this journey myself. Thanks for a post that also reminds me that I am not alone in this πŸ™‚

  24. It is more important to be honest with yourself than to be a Proverbs 31 Woman. This is a great post

  25. Melissa Bernardo says:

    I try my hardest every day to be the best woman I could possibly be. Love this post!

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