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Banishing the Mom Guilt

Mom guilt is a real thing, ya’ll. I had heard the term multiple times before having our little one, but I never really understood it until the past few months. The first 6 months as a new mom were a blur, at least for me. When our little one started to be a little more alert, a little more independent and began hitting milestones pretty quickly…something else came along with that…mom guilt. I don’t know that it necessarily ever goes away, completely. I feel like my little one will be in college and I will still feel a sense of mom guilt, just over different things.

What is mom guilt?

Well, it’s basically feeling like you aren’t good enough as a mom. You aren’t doing enough. You aren’t present enough. You don’t make enough. You don’t spend enough. You aren’t home enough. You are home too much. You don’t go to play group enough. You go out to each too much.

We’ve all been there. I was there tonight (and last night). We ate out to eat last night and tonight. Last night: take out Chinese. Tonight: fast food. Against my will. Last night, I made cubed steak, which apparently, I let cook too long because the dog didn’t even want to eat it. Tonight, I tried to make lasagna, but realized (after cooking the meat and pre-heating the oven) that I was out of sauce. So, we ate out.

I have experienced more mom guilt than I would like to admit in the past 8 months. 

I was guilty because I didn’t breastfeeding long enough.

I was guilty because I didn’t back to work outside of the home.

I was guilty because the house wasn’t immaculate when my husband came home.

I was guilty because I fed my family fast food.

I was guilty because I fell asleep while watching a movie with my husband.

I was guilty because I just couldn’t bring myself to let my parents keep my little one overnight.

We’ve all been there. At least, that’s what I’m told. 

We are too hard on ourselves as moms. We give everyone around us grace, we hold ourselves together…but we weigh ourselves down with guilt. We look around and compare ourselves to others. We guilt ourselves into thinking our life needs to look exactly like the other moms’ around us. It doesn’t. 

Today, I am choosing to banish the mom guilt. Instead of feeling guilty, I am choosing to feel blessed because of what I am and what I am doing as a mom. I challenge you to do the same. 

I was guilty because I didn’t breastfeeding long enough.

My child is healthy and has plenty to eat. He is in the 90th percentile for weight.

I was guilty because I didn’t back to work outside of the home.

I work from home and provide for our family. All while being able to see my son during the day.

I was guilty because the house wasn’t immaculate when my husband came home.

I laid in the floor and played blocks and cars with our son.

I was guilty because I fed my family fast food.

My family ate dinner.

I was guilty because I fell asleep while watching a movie with my husband.

I was exhausted because I had spent the day caring for our son, working and caring for our home. My husband appreciates that and me.

I was guilty because I just couldn’t bring myself to let my parents keep my little one overnight.

The last time I was away from my son was when he was in NICU. My son is healthy and is asleep next to me.

What are you feeling guilty for today? I hope you choose joy and thankfulness over guilt. 

Banishing The Mom Guilt

 

 

Katie Davis

Friday 30th of September 2016

Thank you for this wonderful reminder! I've been trying to be better, but I still struggle with mom guilt (and then I feel guilty about having mom guilt...). This is a breath of fresh air.

Also. I'm right there with you about breastfeeding! My first son and I struggled with breastfeeding for too long, and it was stressful for both of us. I hated it at the time, but quitting was the best decision I could have made for us.

Loving Living Lancaster

Sunday 2nd of October 2016

Absolutely! Thank you for taking the time to comment, it's good to know other moms have been right there with me!

Alexis Prieto

Friday 16th of September 2016

Where do I begin? I feel guilty because of SOOOOO many things! I really should take more time to make the guilt go away by reversing it with a positive.

Loving Living Lancaster

Friday 16th of September 2016

It's so easy to feel guilty-as a woman and as a mom! I am sure you are doing a great job!

Rosalyn O.

Thursday 15th of September 2016

I like that you focused on the good instead of feeling guilty. I think we all have felt this way at one point or another.

Sarah

Wednesday 14th of September 2016

Good for you! Mom guilt is SO not worth your time!

JeeYoung W

Wednesday 14th of September 2016

This is such a great reminder not to guilt ourselves because we're all doing the best we can! Thanks for this post!

Loving Living Lancaster

Wednesday 14th of September 2016

You are so right! We need to support each other!